Cutty in Short

I tend to think my life was more exciting than it really was. In that regard I am just like everyone else. People look at the world through their own skewed perspective. Its hard not to be bias with your own life. If you really were able to admit to yourself how miserable and pathetic your life was, why you would throw yourself off a building. I know I would.
I was born almost 27 years ago. It was the dead of summer, which makes me think how my parents must have kept themselves busy during the colder winter months. I was almost a full month late. Yes, do the math, my mom was pregnant for about 10 months. It took both my mother and the doctors combined effort and 21 hours for me to be born. I found the experience so exhausting that my lungs had filled with fluids and I was sent to the pre-me ward to be put in a incubator. Imagine me, almost 10 pounds of grade-A American baby, laying there besides these tiny little things. I was kicking, I was swinging, I was anything but still next to this little things that probably looked more like sea monkeys than human beings. There was a bet between all the people who were watching the babies as to how much I weighed. After all this, for some reason, my mother didn't leave under the shadow of night and leave me in the lurch. I guess she figured that anything you got to work that hard for must be worth it. Boy was she wrong.
I grew up pretty normal like. I had friends, I played games, I got in trouble. I was always laughing, sometimes at others expense. I see humor in everything. I take very little seriously. Even after something traumatic I will be the first one laughing and joking around. So the years where I was vulnerable to outside forces were rather uneventful. I had no serious health issues, I had a constant circle of friends, I had beautiful golden locks. You could say I had it all. But as I grew older, I began to change. It was slow, but it was steady. Up into my teens I became a awkward young man, like most kids, but I had an attitude beyond my years. I grew a distaste for those around me. I became paranoid. I became hostile. People quickly learned not to mess with Mike. Not because he would tell someone but because he would overreact and TAKE THINGS TO FAR. At least thats how countless teachers and a number of school psychologists called it. I called it mutually assured destruction.
If you have someone who wants to do a little harm to you. Not a lot, just enough for them to get a good laugh at your expense. You have three choices really. 1: Roll over and take it like some sort of pussy. 2:Try to reason your way out, all the while playing it cool. 3: Do something so drastic that it assures that (a) They leave alone never to bother you again (b) The story makes its way around and you build a solid rep at being a hard ass. I would destroy whomever messed with me. For option 3 to work you have to act fast and decisively. Hit em quick and hit em hard. Stomp them out in the mud, let the others see. Take it way to far. Do something awful to them. All the while watching the others watching you. If they see what happens when they mess with you, why than they will think twice about trying something. Plus a lady loves someone who takes control of a situation.
I might have not always gotten the cutest girl in school. But I got the crazy ones who get off on public displays of savagery. I've had cute girls and I've had crazy girls and I will tell you that you can have the cute ones, those crazy chicks know all sorts of moves that would drive you wild. As a normal red blooded man, I will pretty much have sex wherever the girl wants. With the crazy ones, that could be anywhere. You never know when you are going to get laid. On a train, in a alley, at a funeral, in your friends car on a road trip. Heck the list can go forever.
So whats my point in all of this? Well smart ass, there is no point. I just like talking about myself and this is my blog so you can fuck yourself if you feel otherwise. Now if you excuse me I am going to go get high. Shalom Bitches.